Battle Ready

I have not trawled the BBC and other websites for suitable content for RE classes since I retired. I was always on the lookout then, but not now. One programme we used was BBC’s ‘Big Questions. It wasn’t the debate programme that Nicky Campbell hosted but a programme in 6 minute slots that explored questions of religion and philosophy.

              ‘Why do people suffer?’ was one of them and a selection of celebrities answered it. It was Martin Kemp‘s answer I was looking for. He talked about being diagnosed with a brain tumour. Twice, in fact. He said he was lucky. I don’t particularly feel lucky, I have to say, being diagnosed with breast cancer. His luck was not so much the diagnosis but his physical health at the time. He wasn’t unfit and that helped with his recovery later. Perhaps if he had  been less fit, recovery would have been that much harder.

              Having seen the surgeon earlier this week and having talked through the before, during and the after of the operation, he was unable to settle on a date. He is a busy man. The operation is likely to be at the end of September, a month away. I would have been far happier if he had said next week. Waiting…

              What do I do between now and then? Twiddle my thumbs? Knit a scarf? I had seen a nice pattern and I have the wool. I am in the habit of not addressing these questions to myself alone, but to God. The reply? Get battle ready.

              The memory of Martin Kemp and his response to suffering came to mind. He was fit and that made a difference. I am not physically fit and a month is probably not long enough to get physically fit, but I can get fitter.

              Part of it is in place already, not because of a cancer diagnosis, that came after, but with a need to take responsibility for my diabetes and give a helping hand to the dodgy eye. I am receiving eye injections because of a deterioration in my left eye. Blood vessels at the back of the eye are breaking and the injections mop up the excess the eye cannot deal with. It’s an old age thing, a short sightedness-for-so-long thing and a high-sugar-level-in-the-blood thing. We have new medication and a blood monitor so that part of getting ‘battle ready’ is in place.

              A while back I used to do ‘WALKING WORKOUST FOR WEIGHT LOSS’  YouTube with Lucy Wyndham - Read  (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPRFDY3u0Wk). I had a wee jar and every time I competed the workout I put in £2. At the end of the month I would empty the jar and spend the money on a wee treat. I bought a pair of trainers one month. She did try to introduce me to banana pancakes but that didn’t work. I went looking for the workout yesterday and plan to start up again, It is 20 minutes and not over-ambitious.

              I picked up a book in a charity shop a while back, ‘The Food Doctor Everyday Diet’, after a conversation about low carb diets. The book is in the house somewhere and there is a website (https://www.thefooddoctor.com/). It is another aspect of getting battle ready. I am not up for tofu yet, but a healthier diet can’t harm anyone.  I have spotted a soup recipe I  might try.

              I am also aware that there is a mental side to things too. I have already had to gently chastise myself for thinking I did something to cause the cancer. This is not a consequence of anything I did and I am dismissing the ‘if-only’s and any splash of unnecessary guilt. 

              I promised myself that I would not turn my back to the wall on this and have invited friends and family to make the journey communal in some way. A friend has baked a lasagne for us. Another friend has ferried us back and forth to the clinic. There are as many hugs as I can handle, some very practical advice from those that have been there where I am, prayers and enough candles lit to worry the fire brigade. Shoulder to shoulder, shield to shield we are side by side in this,

Battle Ready

What will I do now

to meet the approaching storm?

I'll ready my raft.

And when the wind blows

and the waves rise in fury,

I will be at peace